“How Civilized Are We?” Two Incidents That Show Us Where We Stand

By Fawad Pirzada

“If you wish to know how civilized a culture is, look at how they treat its women.”

— Bacha Khan

Last night, I witnessed two real-life incidents that made me question how “civilized” we truly are.

The first happened at Quetta Café where I was sitting with friends, having chai and paratha late at night. Suddenly, we heard a girl screaming. We turned to see a group of men forcibly dragging a young girl not more than 17 or 18 years old into a car. She was crying, resisting, and clearly terrified. Without thinking, we stood up, and others around us did the same. A crowd gathered, and we were able to stop them. The girl broke free and ran off. The men fled the scene.

That incident was over in a few minutes. But it left a deep impact. What if no one had stood up?

On my way home, I took a ride from a female driver. After some casual tal she began sharing her experiences. Just three days earlier, she said, a man booked her ride, and mid-way, he started drinking beer in the car. His behaviour got worse: dancing, yelling, and playing loud music. She felt increasingly intimidated, unsure of how far he might go. Alone and trapped behind the wheel, she kept trying to stay calm and composed. When they finally reached his destination, he refused to pay unless she dropped him at his flat. She somehow managed to get him out and collected her fare.

I asked, “Did you report it? Tell someone?” She replied with a painful truth: 

“Yeh mardon ka muashra hai. Agar main shor machati tou log mera hi mazak banatein. Kehtein: ‘Tumhe kya zarurat thi ghar se nikalne ki? This is a man’s society.

(If I had raised my voice, people would have made fun of me. They would have said: ‘Why did you even need to leave the house?)

Two different women. Two different situations. One common thread: fear, shame, and silence. These aren’t rare stories this is everyday life for many women in Pakistan.

From harassment on the streets to violence in homes, from discrimination in offices to fear in public spaces women are forced to survive in a society that often blames them more than it protects them. And when they speak up, they’re told to stay silent “for their own good.”

Is this what a civilized society looks like?

Bacha Khan’s vision wasn’t just about non-violence it was about dignity, equality, and justice. True civilization means standing up for those who are vulnerable. It means creating a society where women don’t have to choose between survival and respect.

So the next time we ask ourselves how far we’ve come as a nation, we must first ask:

How do we treat our women? That’s your answer.

Fawad Pirzada explores observations from everyday life and beyond, sharing his opinions and perspectives